Diane Funston

Girly Girls

You know the type.
If I wasn’t a woman myself
I’d never say this
But
Girly girls,
The ones too delicate to survive
Without the strong hand of some guy,
Usually not a genius himself—
But
Their lives ruined by broken fingernails
Can’t ride with windows open, their hair!
Those with unnatural voices, like,
“Hi, I want to be taken seriously as a woman”
When their skirts are up to there
Their blouses are down to where
Their outfits dry clean only,
Their shoes are heeled with dagger spikes,
I’m told they’re called Fuck me heels,
Well, fuck me
How can you walk in those things
Although they’re great to aerate garden soil
And the theatrical makeup
Makes them look like vampires
Though too helpless to lift a coffin lid
And they bat their eyes
And in the name of equality
Then they pout seeking help
With everything
And their eyeglasses
Make them look intelligent
So why not have 20 pairs
In pink and glitter and flamingos
And speaking of pink
Why not outfits that look like toddler wear,
Baby dolls and Betty Boop
Hands on hips and stomp your feet
Oh a broken heel
Who could’ve seen that coming?
Cry me a River,
Yes you already are
An I love Lucy bawl
Theater, anyone
It drives me to drink
Not beer, girly girls say it’s a man’s drink
Give me a tall cold one please
And a cork for the lipsticked mouth
Of the lady

 

Diane Funston writes poetry of nature and human nature. She co-founded a women's poetry salon in San Diego, created a weekly poetry gathering in the high desert town of Tehachapi, CA and most recently has been the Yuba-Sutter Arts and Culture Poet-in-Residence for the past two years. It is in this role she created Poetry Square, a monthly online venue that features poets from all over the world reading their work and discussing creative process. She has been published in Synkronicity, California Quarterly, Whirlwind, San Diego Poetry Annual, Summation, Tule Review, Lake Affect Magazine, F(r)iction and other literary journals. Her first chapbook, Over the Falls was published this July 2022 from Foothills Publishing. She holds a B.A. degree in Literature and Writing from CSU San Marcos.